136 days without T

Hello!

    Recently I've been with friends in a community next city. It was really cool to meet other indigenous people and their culture, we had a lot of fun together. The important deal for this blog is, I swam shirtless in the river there, and it seems like no one found it weird. I mean, probably some people thought "huh, that guy has tits" but other than that, I felt safe doing so, and from the pictures, it really doesn't seem like I have the body of a cis woman. Hair and muscles again doing all the work here.

  

probably the most gruesome jpeg there is, but i'm the light skinned person. dark skinned person next to me is a cis guy.

    My forearm, mainly the wrist area, looks thinner than before, despite being able to lift even more weight than pre-E. I've lost a lot of weight in the past few months too, so this definitely influences it.

 

August 2025 vs. Around april or may 2025, 4 weeks without T

 

    Also I feel like a lot of my hair has grown back - I'm still balding, but theres som extra tufts covering the area now, and the thin hair zone at least feels smaller than what it was before.

April 2025 vs.  August 2025

 

Right widow peak April 2025 vs. August 2025 

 

Left widow peak  April 2025 vs. August 2025 

    I don't feel the need to masturbate as often as it was on T - honestly I feel like I'd do it more often if it wasn't so much work. Jerking off on E needs a lot of effort and concentration, you can rest assured it'll be at least 1hr of forearm training. Since I'm no longer so hard my penetrative toys don't work as well, and having to manange the shapeless blob of meat that is a huge and limp tdick is a bit difficult. I've been preferring doing penetration than outside stimulation as I can come easier with penetration, even if its a mild climax in comparision lol

    The menstrual cycle continues and close to my period I get some really huge and sore honkers.  I also notice a difference in erection, libido and pleasure type during different phases of the menstrual cycle. The time in which things are most similar to being on T are during my period, and there is a specific hormonal balance spot somewhere in the month in which I feel like my tdick won't work even with a wand.

    Another fun thing I noticed is that my neck became extremely thin. Its pretty I think, so whatever. Honestly, I feel like my facial features are way prettier now than on T, mainly with how I no longer look swollen all the time.

 

Neck on August 2025 vs. December 2024 (on T) 

    Also I used to have some small visible red veins on my right foot, and a lot of them disappeared after stopping T. I guess it was good I stopped? 

    Regarding mental changes, I'm comfortable. Still getting used to the hormonal up and downs of a menstrual cycle again... but everything feels fine. 

    My thighs hair is receding also. Lol 

     

95 days without T

 Hello!

    I feel like I no longer have a top heavy sillouete but rather what you'd expect of a cis woman. Hard to write this and think of a way to express this without it sounding binarist, but bear with me for a bit. I simply don't think my body sillouette passes as that of what one would expect of a cis men, althrough I know plenty of cis men with bodies like mine - who too face difficulties because of this. To describe it more accuately, I have a very thin waist and large hips, and my thighs are thick. My arms, back and shoulders are muscular which brings some balance.

    I like what I'm looking like. I look very delicate in comparision to what I used to. I feel like testosterone really was fucking me up. I was swollen all the time and I looked older. Now I look like a smooth baby or maybe even some sorts of seal, with the huge eyes and all.

    There are facial features I got from testosterone treatment that I think will not go away. Mainly in the way I aged. My forehead wrinkles and the wrinkles next to my mouth look like something you'd expect of a man my age, which give me a cool and mature androgynous touch IMO. My jawline and chin also look rougher than what they used to, or at least I feel like that.

       I've recently shaved my head and while I'm still lacking a lot of hairs on top, it feels like my balding got way better than what it was, or maybe its just the buzzcut. I look absolutely fantastic bald by the way, way better than with the balding long hair. Everyone will tell you that once you go bald you'll feel better and wonder why you didn't do that sooner, and you can add me to that list.

    I've got a couple wigs that I enjoy wearing and I feel very comfortable in my fully feminine presentation. I feel like I'm a way more attractive in femme appeal than masc appeal. Most people read me as a gay man or a trans woman because of my deep voice and ridiculously muscular guns. Honestly the shoulders and arm area being muscular does a LOT on my presentation recently. To simple say, I have trucker arms.

    I've caught myself using she/her on me and even reffering to myself in a girly way, which is a bit funny. I think there is a bit of man and woman in me and I spent a long time in the man side of things so I'm tired of it now. To explore femininity as a choice rather than something imposed to me has been a good experience. I love to be readen as a woman with body hair and a deep voice. I feel gender euphoria saying "I look like a girl, but i'm not one" and this is unquestioned because of my deep voice. There is so much freedom in that.

    I've got to flirt around in full femme presentation and its so fun. To know those people desire me not as a woman, but as someone that looks like one and isn't one hits a spot better than it did back when I was readen as a trans or cis man. Now i'm undeniably gender something. I'm very much at home.

    Also, I've got a lot more trans/cisfem interest in me now than before, which is heavenly. I love men, but being desirable to the girlies is something else. Women wanting to play with my hair and put make up on me will be the reason I end up in urgent care someday.

    There are days I present in full masculine appeal, in others I'm full feminine, and this is also something that is attracting people. Fun times! Can't wait for my first hookup where they'll show visible confusion in me having a pussy. 

    Oh also, while I feel like my body sllouete is no longer what you'd expect of a cis man, if i'm dressed masculinely I'm basically always read as one. 

    Oh also also, my period is very regular now, it was only a bit odd on the first month - I had a couple random bleeding spot days in april-may and then it cameas it was before by the end of may, and ever since its been very regular and on time. Readapting to a period schedule is something I'm not fully adapted to yet but I'm re-learning my patterns. I feel like all the hormonal tornado and sickness and other things made my june an empty month - I didn't work at all. But I'm getting back on my feet now as I kinda know what to expect feelings and energy wise through the month.

76 days without T + hair and arm comparision pics

 Hello!

    Not much has changed since last update. Though I do notice more and more people have a hard time figuring out which gender box to put me in.  

    One thing I noticed however was that it seems that theres a 5 o'clock shadow growing on my scalp. Heres some pictures:

 

Didn't wash my hair before that. Sorry. 

 This is what it looks like tied back vs. parted in the middle. I think once my new wig arrives I'm yeeting it all off. 

 

 

 First pic is april, before I stopped T, second pic is today, 76 days without T.

 

 Right widow peak in april, may and july

 

Left widow peak in april, may and july

 

    Since I had dengue fever recently, heres some biceps comparision pics. Paler one is after dengue. I mostly lost weight, but I feel like some muscles deflated too ater the one to two weeks of sickness and fatigue.

 

    Also, my waist is getting very thin, and my hips very large, pretty much like what I had before T.