Hello!
I feel like I no longer have a top heavy sillouete but rather what you'd expect of a cis woman. Hard to write this and think of a way to express this without it sounding binarist, but bear with me for a bit. I simply don't think my body sillouette passes as that of what one would expect of a cis men, althrough I know plenty of cis men with bodies like mine - who too face difficulties because of this. To describe it more accuately, I have a very thin waist and large hips, and my thighs are thick. My arms, back and shoulders are muscular which brings some balance.
I like what I'm looking like. I look very delicate in comparision to what I used to. I feel like testosterone really was fucking me up. I was swollen all the time and I looked older. Now I look like a smooth baby or maybe even some sorts of seal, with the huge eyes and all.
There are facial features I got from testosterone treatment that I think will not go away. Mainly in the way I aged. My forehead wrinkles and the wrinkles next to my mouth look like something you'd expect of a man my age, which give me a cool and mature androgynous touch IMO. My jawline and chin also look rougher than what they used to, or at least I feel like that.
I've recently shaved my head and while I'm still lacking a lot of hairs on top, it feels like my balding got way better than what it was, or maybe its just the buzzcut. I look absolutely fantastic bald by the way, way better than with the balding long hair. Everyone will tell you that once you go bald you'll feel better and wonder why you didn't do that sooner, and you can add me to that list.
I've got a couple wigs that I enjoy wearing and I feel very comfortable in my fully feminine presentation. I feel like I'm a way more attractive in femme appeal than masc appeal. Most people read me as a gay man or a trans woman because of my deep voice and ridiculously muscular guns. Honestly the shoulders and arm area being muscular does a LOT on my presentation recently. To simple say, I have trucker arms.
I've caught myself using she/her on me and even reffering to myself in a girly way, which is a bit funny. I think there is a bit of man and woman in me and I spent a long time in the man side of things so I'm tired of it now. To explore femininity as a choice rather than something imposed to me has been a good experience. I love to be readen as a woman with body hair and a deep voice. I feel gender euphoria saying "I look like a girl, but i'm not one" and this is unquestioned because of my deep voice. There is so much freedom in that.
I've got to flirt around in full femme presentation and its so fun. To know those people desire me not as a woman, but as someone that looks like one and isn't one hits a spot better than it did back when I was readen as a trans or cis man. Now i'm undeniably gender something. I'm very much at home.
Also, I've got a lot more trans/cisfem interest in me now than before, which is heavenly. I love men, but being desirable to the girlies is something else. Women wanting to play with my hair and put make up on me will be the reason I end up in urgent care someday.
There are days I present in full masculine appeal, in others I'm full feminine, and this is also something that is attracting people. Fun times! Can't wait for my first hookup where they'll show visible confusion in me having a pussy.
Oh also, while I feel like my body sllouete is no longer what you'd expect of a cis man, if i'm dressed masculinely I'm basically always read as one.
Oh also also, my period is very regular now, it was only a bit odd on the first month - I had a couple random bleeding spot days in april-may and then it cameas it was before by the end of may, and ever since its been very regular and on time. Readapting to a period schedule is something I'm not fully adapted to yet but I'm re-learning my patterns. I feel like all the hormonal tornado and sickness and other things made my june an empty month - I didn't work at all. But I'm getting back on my feet now as I kinda know what to expect feelings and energy wise through the month.
